I’ve never freely chosen to hang out with people who felt compelled to tell me unpleasant realities about myself. In the last twenty years or so I’ve finally come to grips with the fact (i.e. unpleasant reality) that it’s my problem. Reality just is. And my need to remain delusional is not other people’s problem.
I remember when taking a battery of psychological tests as preparation for ministry, they pointed out that one of my main traits that might limit my effectiveness was that I was over sensitive. My gut level, completely serious response was, “Well if you know I’m oversensitive, why would you hurt my feelings by telling me that?”
It’s like I expected the whole world to protect me from reality, even when facing it and changing might make me a much more effective person.
It has been a great relief to become able to accept that we all have flaws and even limits; physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. And when I recognize one of them in my self (on my own or with “help”), sometimes I decide that it’s something I can’t change right now and that I and the rest of world will just have to live with that for the time being, but other times I recognize that it’s something that I want to change and now can, because of where I am in my journey.
So, the next time you get your feelings hurt, it might be interesting and even life changing to take responsibility for them and explore your choices in responding to the challenge of a possible, though uncomfortable, reality.

About Eileen

Mother of five, grandmother of nine, great-grandmother of five. 1955 -1959 Rice University in Houston, TX. Taught primary grades; Was Associate Post Director of Religious Education at Ft. Campbell, KY; Consultant on the Myers/Briggs Type Indicator, Was married for 60 years to an Architect in Middle Tennessee.

Posted on September 15, 2018, in change, epiphanies, evolving, hope, Mental Health, Personality, self-doubt, spiritual growth and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Being oversensitive would make an excellent minister. If you needed ministerial comfort, who would you pick, and over sensitive person or a less sensitive one? One person’s idea of fault, might be another person’s strength. Bring on a world of over sensitive people. It would be such a huge improvement.


    • The man doing the testing admitted that he thought there was a gender skew to the test, since many more women than men tested as oversensitive. But, there have been times when I cut people out of my life because things they said with no intention of hurting me, hit a nerve. Looking back these were people who had done very kind things for me and my family and I regret that I wasn’t able to talk the hurt through with them.


  2. Playing the hand we are dealt; yes, I do my best to cope with it and to improve it. It’s a work in progress, especially as I am terribly bad at playing cards. 😦


  3. Bonjour mon amie. You are not alone. I was frequently condemned for being overly sensitive. Some of us are also Empaths, it would not surprise me to find you among our numbers. Bonne chance! ❤


  4. I’ll pass and stick with an expresso, no sugar or milk. It just means you shall have to return. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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