What I Used to Believe

I used to believe that good people were perfectly good. Or at the very least, they were headed to it, gathering speed as they aged.
Now, I know a whole lot of nice dead people who never got anywhere near perfect.
Even worse, now that I’m old, I seem to be getting less good each year, or maybe just more obviously not so great.
I’m beginning to think it’s a little like the Velveteen Rabbit story. Our pretty and soft coverings wear thin from the lessons about loving that we get from bumping up against other people.
We begin to look a lot less good or at least a more spotty good, than when we had the energy to fake it,
Freedom has its price and becoming free to be real is expensive.
But when we realize that we can see the door from here, we finally get it:
Only skinny, naked, spotty, worn looking camels, clinging to nothing can make it through that narrow gate.
Ain’t that grand!

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About Eileen

Mother of five, grandmother of eleven, great-grandmother of seven, 1955 -1959 Rice University in Houston, TX. Taught primary grades; Was Associate Post Director of Religious Education at Ft. Campbell, KY; Consultant on the Myers/Briggs Type Indicator; Presently part time Administrative Assistant/Bookkeeper for Architect husband of fifty-seven years. Blog: Laughter: Carbonated Grace

Posted on July 25, 2013, in Gifts of Age, relationships, Spiritual and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Reblogged this on Laughter: Carbonated Grace and commented:

    Yup! Still haven’t seen the bottoms of anyone’s feet ascending yet.

  2. I can definitely empathise with this feeling.. x

  3. Myra Berghane

    So true. Self knowledge is not for sissies, just for us who truly want to be free and know at a deep level that God loves us just as we are. That’s freedom!

  4. Oh BRAVO, BRAVO! I LOVE this so much! I don’t have much energy to “fake it” anymore. And it’s so true that freedom to be real can be expensive–but even though I love a good bargain, in this case I’d rather have “value” 🙂 I am a little worried ’bout your final words regarding “skinny”–as unless I develop a ravaging disease, it’s not likely I’ll ever be skinny again–and I quit fretting about that years ago 🙂 God bless you abundantly!!

    PS–I don’t know if you’re a Texan who loves “smothered okra”, but I just “fixed” me a big pan of it, and if you were next door, I’d invite you to come have a plate! 🙂

    • I quit worrying much about being skinny at my age. Why would I have skipped my pecan pie and ice cream tonight? To look good in my coffin?
      Besides I have five children that I want to all have some of my ashes to spread around. I picked out the places, but it isn’t going to happen. One place was Paris and my youngest son said he planned on going to Italy and he could just drop me out of the plane over Paris. Of course the only way to do that is to “flush” me out.

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